Your Secrets to Getting the Second Date
Your Secrets to Getting the Second Date
Getting the Second Date – if you want to get there, here are some tips that might help:
- Are You Perfect?
- Date With A Purpose
- Stack The Odds
- Make It Fun Regardless
- Reflect Don’t React
Many people doom their chances for getting the second date, because they do not go on the first date with realistic expectations and a dating game plan.
When you go out expecting the person you go out with to be absolutely perfect on your first date, then you are setting yourself up for failure.
ARE YOU PERFECT?
Be real, are you rich, gorgeous, and gifted with an irresistible charm and wit?
Probably not, because, if you were, then you would not be reading this article.
Likewise, your date is going to have some imperfections as well.
So let’s come up with a simple strategy to increase your odds of, at the very least, having an enjoyable first date – and maybe even making that elusive love connection too!
DATE WITH A PURPOSE
It may sound lame to say “Date with a Purpose,” but as they say – failing to plan is planning to fail.
Why are you going out?
Why did you say yes to the first date?
What exactly caused you to say yes to the first date?
What is the plan for the evening?
Are you going to dinner?
Are you going to a movie?
Are you planning to make-out in the parking lot?
Are you planning to be exciting?
Are you planning to have fun?
STACK THE ODDS
If you are going to date today the purpose goal of getting the second date, then you might as well stack the odds in your favor.
Choose or suggest either a restaurant that you love (or one that you have heard about and are yearning to try).
Maybe even look for a themes restaurant and feed each there while sitting on the floor or sharing some fondue.
DRESS TO INTRIGUE
Men like to know that you want to impress them, so take a few extra moments. Choose the outfit or shoes that are sure to get his attention (without giving the wrong signal). Wear a scent that will linger and remind him of your attraction, intensity, and mystery after he gets home from your date.
Lastly, use the magic of reciprocation. Greet him, thank him, compliment him and he will be sure to do the same for you.
THINK BEFORE YOU ACT
Spontaneity can be a good thing, or a very bad thing!
Acting before you think can be a date killer for either party. If she blows her nose at the table or if he walks ahead into the restaurant without acknowledging her, then the night will probably not end with an enchanting kiss and getting the second date.
We’ve all heard the phrase “what would Jesus do” – well, while you are on your first date you may not need to ask yourself WWJD – but try asking yourself “What would my most irresistible friend do” at this point on the date.
If you just pause for a second and think quietly to yourself, “If I do this now, then how is my date going to react?”
I am not saying do not be yourself, and do not brighten the evening with unexpected actions, but, I am saying don’t be stupid!
MAKE IT FUN REGARDLESS AND INCREASE YOUR CHANCES
No matter what happens on your first date – decide to “Make It Fun Regardless.” If you spill your water glass, it’s not the end of the night. Laugh it off and say – “Wow that hasn’t happened since childhood” or “At least it was only water” (unless you spilled the wine).
Be playful, be brave, and be memorable.
Look for every opportunity to laugh, celebrate, or share on your date.
Look for common interests and safe “common enemies.”
Safe common enemies refers to enemies like Atlanta traffic, crowded grocery stores, aggressive drivers, and obnoxious testers. But, do not go too deep into politics, religion, or “spirituality” on the first date. There will be plenty of time later to peel back those layers of the onion. But, stepping on one of these deadly land mines is sure to dampen the mood of your evening.
Talking endlessly about exes or about your drug rehab is probably not a good idea either.
REFLECT DON’T REACT
No matter what happens, just reflect, do not react during the spur of the moment. Ask yourself three questions:
What Happened?
Why Did It Happen?
Does It “Really” Matter?
As they say – Shit Happens! (and it does not always happen at the most opportune time).
When something unexpected happens on your date – just make a mental note of it (at least until after the end of the date) and then promise yourself to examine it later and you’ll increase the odds of getting the second date.
So when it happens…
Make a note of what happened.
What “really” happened?”
Was it personal?
Even following your careful dating game plan and pausing to think for a second before you act (and do something really stupid), things will still “happen” on your date.
Unless your date is with an unexpected serial killer, regardless of what happens on your date it is probably NOT the end of the world.
KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE
If he steps on your dress or even your new shoes, he probably did not mean to do it – so do not freak out.
If he is so caught up in the conversation with you that he overlooks a speck of food on his chin or in his beard, it’s OK. Simply either politely mention it to him or reach over with your napkin and gently dab it off with a smile. A comment like I did not want that breadcrumb to distract me from your eyes is sure to seal the deal.
If you trip and fall, but he chivalrously offers to help you up, brush it off, than him for his kindness and get on with the date with a smile (even if you ripped your new dress). He’ll love your resilience and courage.
If he accidentally spills his wine on our dress, quickly summon the waiter and ask for a bottle of club soda and a napkin or two to save the day. Dab the offending spot with the club soda. Get it as clean as possible and then get on with the event like it never happened.
Need a next “First Date?” Call me! I have dozens of hot, successful, and fun men and women ready to meet you – who are each waiting for their next “First Date,” and maybe even their “Last First Kiss!”
XOXO, SKS
Founder 1 on 1 Matchmaking & 8 at 8 Dinner Club